Neither of us were born here. I was born in the former Soviet Union, and my wife in India. We met in college in Philadelphia, both of us still figuring out our queer identities and what it would mean to be with a woman. Our world looked very different back in 2007. Only 1 of 50 states had legalized same sex marriage, and many others had constitutional bans in place. The idea of choosing each other, getting legal protections, and getting my wife a green card, so we could stay together and one day raise a family… seemed completely impossible. But we did stay together. We fell in love, got engaged, got married in a beautiful Hindu-Jewish-Russian-Indian lesbian wedding (!), surrounded by our friends and family in 2013. My wife got pregnant first, gave birth to our 3 yr old daughter, and I gave birth to our son (now 6 months). Our kids and their friends only know a world where families come in all shapes and sizes and colors, where you might have a Papa and a Dad, a Mommy and Daddy, a Mama and a Ma, or a million other versions in between. Over the years, it hasn’t always been easy coming out to family, friends, coworkers… especially when we were still so young and living in a heteronormative world. But one thing we learnt was that people are inherently good, and they will surprise you, if you just give them the time to get to know you and break down the barriers in their minds, bit by bit. My wife didn’t expect to be breastfeeding this long, but after the first year with our daughter, it just became easy, and beautiful – in the early mornings when everyone’s still drowsy with sleep and in the evenings when it’s just the four of us at home. I feel really lucky (and surprised) that after giving birth to our son, I’ve been able to breastfeed both of our kids. The two of them get so much joy too from nursing at the same time on the same mom, giggling at each other! We know “family boob milk time” is coming to an end soon, and that’s bittersweet, but for now we’re loving it. Our days are full of toddler giggles, music and singing, pranks on each other, and heart to hearts with our little humans. We’re excited for several more years of adventures to come.
xx two mothers
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